incredibly specific kitchen gadgetry
My brother got us a SodaStream for Christmas. That's totally out of left field. Outside of, maybe Sweden, I know of only one person who has ever woken up and wished for a SodaStream machine. And that guy was kinda only joking. According to
, 20 percent of Swedish households own one of these things. And no kidding. Look at the happy family on this ad insert! Target audience, much?
It's because of the company's continued operation of its factory in an Israeli settlement. Oh Israel and Palestine. I won't ever forget you -
. There is so much finger pointing in that place. And to stop it, they're all just trying to cut off each other's hands. Honestly. That's my sophisticated political analysis. You're welcome.
Rob gets busy carbonating water. There's a gas canister you shove and screw into the machine. Then you press down on the top of the SodaStream until it makes a startling noise; like a car shuddering or a really loud fart. The more you hear the noise, the fizzier your water gets. You want your SodaStream to threaten you with bodily harm, that's how hard you have to press down.
I do the taste testing. Sparkly. More sparkly. So fizzy I burp immediately.
Then he gets fancy with the syrups. You think it'll get more exciting than the farting noises the machine makes when you're carbonating the water. It doesn't. Because all you do with the syrup is pour it into the water you just fizzed up. We scavenge for old glass bottles to hoard our new sodas. Diet Cola. Lemon lime. Orange. They taste...fizzy. With a kind of...
taste afterwards. It's like nothing nature ever intended to make on purpose.
Finally, at the back of the refrigerator, there's a bottle of
. I think we've had this for a year. I went through a phase of drinking it with gin and...
. Luck we've got this SodaStream! The cordial gets dumped in and the water is pumped full of bubbles. This one is a hit!
One night after dinner at Hong Kong Barbeque, my family comes over to peer at the SodaStream machine. I kid you not. We extend an invite that literally goes
Come see the SodaStream machine!
. Rob is the master of SodaStream ceremonies. Everyone has a look. Then we all drink our sodas from champagne saucers, left over from our wedding. Swank!